NICKNAMES: Canny, Can-Can, Grand Canyon
GENDER: Very male
ANIMAL: Giant Panda
SEXUALITY: He doesn’t know anymore.
AGE: Just barely made it to his eighteenth birthday.
GRADE: Amazingly a senior.
OCCUPATION: Part time worker at The Ravenous Pig
SCHEDULE:TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF.
Well… Let’s see… I like
living for the most part. It’s kind of nice, you know? People don’t really know that a lot of the time because the world is so hard but you have to enjoy the little things in life.
Running is another favorite of mine. Now that I have the stamina, I can just run for miles. See, I’m a long distance runner. Once I’m in my zone, I can just keep going and going and going. Like the Energizer Bunny! I don’t know what it is about it but.. I just.. I just love it. And I love
to read but I hardly have time for that now. My favorite book is called
The Book of Awesome because it teaches you how to appreciate everything in life. Like… Like
old, dangerous playground equipment! You know what I’m talking about! Those rusty and creaky swings and the merry go-rounds, and the slides that shock you on the way down! Those things were amazing in the day. Now we’re stuck with the plastic crap that doesn’t let a kid be a kid. Kids are meant to get hurt, get dirty, and play hard! Because when they grow up, they can’t do that anymore. Sorry, I get ranty sometimes. Another silly thing I really like is
the smell of crayons. I don’t know why. I guess it reminds of the times when I was a kid. Man, I couldn’t color… Or, or
the smell of rain. Oh my god… I absolutely love to just
stand outside when a storm is about to hit because you can smell it in the air. Everything seems so peaceful and then all hell breaks loose. It’s exhilarating! I could just
dance in the rain all day. I know it sounds weird but, come on, look at whom you’re talking to.
Photography is another thing I like. It’s like… capturing a perfect moment, freezing it, and keeping it forever. Even after the memory is old and forgotten, you still have a reminder. Even after… someone is gone… You still have that piece of them… Even if you miss them… Oh! You know what I miss? Those
lemonade stands ran by children. I used to have one so I always buy three or four cups of lemonade (even if it’s horrible) when I see one. It’s just so cute. And
girl scout cookies. I know I’m always
helping someone or something when I do things like that. Speaking of helping, I love
hugs and to hug. Whenever someone looks down, I just like to throw my arms around him or her because, deep down, I know that’s what they want. At least that’s what I want from time to time.
Physical contact is like my drug… Don’t look at me like that, you pervert! I mean
hugs, snuggles, and cuddles. Things like that. They’re the perfect remedy for any illness in my book. That and
laughing. And
smiles. It’s like a little bit of sunshine in a person.
Because people seem to lack that nowadays, don’t they? That… I don’t like that. I don’t like what people have come to. Now, I’m not talking about all people. Just… the few that seem lost. The
people that always look down at the ground. I don’t dislike them like I want to hurt them or anything. It just… It breaks my heart. The sky is so much prettier, you know? I don’t like…
violence. Abuse. Misuse. Suicide… I don’t know who does, though… It’s just… It’s an issue, you know, that doesn’t get the attention it needs. And I want to do everything in my power to just make that issue disappear. To just… make it stop. But it’s a real problem and it can’t be fixed over night. I don’t like… I don’t like the
people that wish they were dead. The ones that are depressed… Oh, that makes me sound mean. I don’t want them to go away or anything… More like…
depression. I want that to go away. Because that can really mess a person up. It makes people want to just… Throw their lives out the window.
Death is a scary and… and traumatizing thing. You can’t fix that no matter how hard you try. And life is worth living. I wish people would realize that. It’s all worth it.
The hardships, the trouble, the, the, the… pain. It’s tough but I swear it’s worth it. No one wants death honestly (even if they think they do) and I wouldn’t wish it on a person. I’ve been there… I know.
Cancer is a bitch; excuse my language. Almost everyone in my family as had it. It’s scary and painful and leaves you
feeling weak and helpless. And I know that’s what
depression does too. I’ve made it my personal goal to save the world one broken teenager at a time. I’m going to do it… Just you watch. I don’t like it
when children grow up too quickly. I haven’t completely grown up myself even though I’ve been through so much. But… It’s
that moment in childhood when the magic leaves their eyes. When
they think magic is just a hoax and it’s not real. But I love to prove them wrong. Anything is possible.
The impossible is impossible. Does that even make sense? I hate it
when people tell me I can’t do something. They don’t know what I can and can’t do. I also hate it
when people go out of their way to ruin someone else’s day. You know… The
bullies. It’s like they have nothing better to do then to just… To just make someone’s life a hell. And it’s usually because their life is hell, too. I don’t like… I don’t like
being mean or hurting people. I try my best not to. Love is the movement and I’m pushing it as far as it can go. Spread the word.
TELL ME MORE, PLEASE? WHAT ARE YOU LIKE?
Hahaha! Okay! Ummm… If you haven’t noticed, I’m a bit touchy-feely. Or…
loving, if you will. You know, with my love of hugs and all that sappy goodness. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting a little love. It can save lives and stop wars. It’s like magic and I just want to spread it to the world. I want people to be happy and will do anything I possibly can to do that. Especially if they’re my friends. I guess that makes me
selfless or caring. I don’t really think about what’s important to me when someone I love needs help. I can always wait as long as I’m showing someone that the world isn’t so bad after all. I mean… they deserve it. My friends always deserve it. Don’t ask me why I think that. I just do. Ummm… I guess I’m also pretty
compassionate. I mean, I do want to save the world. I’m pretty
sympathetic and empathetic and when I see people hurting or at rock bottom, I just want to help them climb back up. Yeah, yeah, I understand the whole thing where people need to learn to take care of themselves but they can’t learn unless someone shows them. And I’m a
pretty helpful guy. There’s no doubt about that. I like to
take care of people – to protect them. Oh, I’m a really protective. I’m a
pretty peaceful dude unless you’re a bully. I’m against violence but I will kick someone’s hiney to Timbuktu and back if I have to. But, really, I’m just a
teddy bear. I’m also pretty
responsible. If I say I’m going to get it done, then I get it done. Makes me
reliable. Dependable even. And I absolutely love to try new things. I guess that means I’m
adventurous, right? I like to think
courageous even. I tend to do a lot of things people wouldn’t do. Like stop someone from bullying someone I don’t even know. That’s right, I’m like a cop like that. A ninja cop.
But, you know, no one’s perfect. I’m not going to pretend to be. I have my faults, the biggest being that I
have a craptastic immune system. Though, that’s not really my fault. I guess I could also say I
have a craptastic attention span. Though, I seem to be doing pretty good at the moment. Though my thoughts do tend to spur off onto
random topics sometimes. And I have been called a dork at one point or another. That and weird but I just like to think I’m unique. Sure, I’m
childish at times but at least I know how to live! I still believe in magic, so sue me. I
don’t give a damn about what you think about me. I’m perfectly happy with my life… Wait, no. That’s a lie. I’m not…
perfectly happy with my life. Lately, I’ve been feeling a little…
alone. It’s been a rough couple of years but I made it. I’m alive. Surprisingly. No, I’m not suicidal. Not even close. I love life, remember? But… I think I’ve fallen into
a little depressed ditch. I say I want to save the world, and I do, but I think I might need a little saving myself. It’s not that I want to hurt myself or anything like that. I just… I
feel like something’s missing. My magic is gone, I guess, and I’m just trying to get it back… That might be why I’m so
touchy-feely. I kind of
forget what a personal boundary is from time to time. And, no, I don’t try anything. I just… I hug people I don’t know when I want a hug and there’s no one there. Is that so wrong? I guess I’m also a little
sensitive. But I think I’m honestly just so comfortable with my masculinity, I’m not afraid to cry. It feels good to cry sometimes. It feels like… I’m just letting all the bad stuff out of my body. Hey, I may be sensitive and I may not like to fight but I’ve already told you I’m protective. Perhaps
a bit too protective. But my father says I’m a bear just waiting for someone to mess with the wrong cub. Even though I don’t have any cubs. If I’m a bear, I’m a bear addicted to adrenaline. Perhaps my courageous attitude makes me a bit
reckless. I don’t usually think, I just… do. Which makes me rather
impulsive. And has landed me in some trouble. I guess it just comes with the territory of being an
adrenaline junkie. Oh, you bet your bottom dollar I’m one of those crazy people. Nothing is better than the feeling of life coursing through your veins.
THAT’S INTERESTING. CAN YOU TELL ME A SECRET? I PROMISE NOT TO TELL.
You promise not to tell? Pinky promise? You swear on your mother’s grave? Good. Because there are some things people just don’t need to know. Not that I’m ashamed about it or anything. I just… I don’t want the pity. I don’t want the apologies. I just…
don’t want. I know what I went through was rough but so many people have it worse. But you promised not to tell anyone. Do you also promise not to give me that pitiful, helpless look. That… That look of sympathy and apologies? Good because I don’t want it. I have three secrets I just… I have to get off my chest…
Secret number one: my best friend in the entire universe died last year. She meant the world to me… You should know her. She was a sophomore last year and would have been a junior this year… Her name was December Katherine Lane. I didn’t make it to her funeral… And I… I don’t know how she died but I know she did it to herself. She didn’t have the best life and I was all she had.
Which brings me to my second secret: I was diagnosed with cancer last year. It was early in the year and I had been getting treatments for it but I never told December until it really put me in the hospital. I didn’t think it would get so bad… Seventeen years old and I… I was dying. Hey, don’t look at me like that! You promised… I made it, didn’t I? Too bad December didn’t think I could. There was this period where… Where I was so sick, I could barely move. I couldn’t hold down anything I was eating… I was nearly skin and bones… It was the last time I saw December. I couldn’t even tell her I loved her… And no one told me she had… had… k-killed herself… until after I was out of harm’s way... After I was out of the hospital. And by that time her funeral had already passed… I-I’m sorry… Just… I need a minute… I need a minute…
…. Sorry. I-It’s kind of the first time I’ve talked about it to anyone. It… It hurts… But it feels good to talk about… But… Yeah… She’s the reason I want to save the world. I’m not going to let her down…. Again…
But… Honestly… If I could, I would start over. That’s my third secret. I… I could have saved her. I could have. B-But I didn’t… And that really kills me. I saw the signs… I knew about… about her cutting… About the abuse she went through when she went home. She… The last night she visited me, she gave me this… This box.. Filled with… with all the paper hearts… All the notes… And an added one… It said
I will always love you. No matter what. I d… I didn’t read it until… Until after I had gotten out of the… the hospital… She… That was her goodbye… And I never gave her one…
