NICKNAMES: Ollie, Ollie-pop
GENDER: Male
ANIMAL: Yellow Mongoose
SEXUALITY: Bisexual
AGE: Thirty
GRADE: Not Applicable
OCCUPATION: Anatomy Professor
SCHEDULE: Not Applicable
TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF.
I
can’t live without sarcasm, flirting, boys, sometimes girls, food, touching people, making kids say “penis”, jokes, doing
it (yes, I still say that), drinking, exercising, hunting, eating
snakes, minions, being in control, being the king, and telling people what to do. Seriously, I would die without those things.
I
hate people who don’t do what I tell them, being serious, people touching
me, teaching, homework, not having anything to chew on, being without people for long amounts of time, loud noises, being on the bottom of social hierarchy, my shift making that fucking anal fear-juice (really, it’s gross), explosions, and bad kissers. Lots of other things, too, but those are the main ones.
TELL ME MORE, PLEASE? WHAT ARE YOU LIKE?
You honestly want to know what I’m like? That’s creepy, it really is. You know that, right? Okay, whatever, let’s get this over with. The first thing you’ll notice about me is that I’m a
control freak. I like everything to be
my way, and if it doesn’t go my way I throw a hissy fit. Just a little one, but a hissy fit all the same. Oh, and you might have noticed this already, but I don’t have any sense of personal space. People describe me as
touchy-feely sometimes, but that’s just a weird word. Don’t you dare say I’m touchy-feely. I like to describe myself as
flirtatious. It’s a nicer word, isn’t it? Don’t answer that, you know it is. I guess I also have a
twisted sense of humor. I mean, I make kids shout “penis” on the first day of health instead of telling me their names. How fun is that? You know you want my job, but like I said, it’s mine. You can’t have it. Oh, yeah, I’m really
territorial. When I think something is mine, it’s mine. Seriously, keep your greedy little paws away from it. You could say I’m…
pushy, maybe a bit of a
bully. When I want someone to do something, I will irritate the fuck out of them until they do it, got that in your head? Oh, I’m
headstrong,
impulsive, and
I don’t give up. Of course, it’s normally put to bad uses… so what? I
don’t have a sense of right and wrong.
There are some good things about me too, you know. Sure, not many of them, but the amount doesn’t really matter, does it now? No, it doesn’t. So I can be really
kind… only when I want to impress someone, but hey, it’s somewhere deep down. When someone I like asks for something, I’ll give it to them. I can be
generous sometimes. Sure, I’m a bit flighty, but when I find someone I really
like, I can be
loyal and
caring. That doesn’t happen often, but hey… it’s happened at least once before. I’m
good at keeping secrets, and I can come off as a
great listener sometimes. Well, I’m probably just ignoring you while you blabber on about something useless, but I can make it
seem like I’m listening… most of the time. I’m really
easy-going. Some people call that lazy, but I choose to ignore them. I’m really good at tuning people out, which doesn’t sound that good, but it helps me keep my temper in check.
THAT’S INTERESTING. CAN YOU TELL ME A SECRET? I PROMISE NOT TO TELL.
Why the hell do you want to know my secrets? Goddammit… well, I guess I can tell you a few. A few years ago, I was in this relationship with Tatsuya. Principal Matsumara now, right? He was adorable, you know? But I guess I was too controlling, because he broke up with me. Which kind of sucks, since I really liked him. Whatever. What happens, happens. And it happened. I don’t even know why he hired me. Do you think he’s plotting to murder me? I think he would do that… Urgh, now I’m paranoid.
